Apr 17
My Battle With Loneliness — All The Lonely People Where Do They All Come From?
My wife and I have been separated for six months and now my biggest battle is with loneliness, especially at night as I struggle to get to sleep. I got married at the age of twenty one and have never really lived alone. Even in college I always had a roommate. Why is being alone such a challenge? I have been living by myself for months and one would think that time would have healed. That I would have overcome this feeling — nope.
I have joined a Bible study, a rowing club, play in a big band, and am part of a fifty plus singles meetup group. I am staying busy, but miss the deep personal relationship that I had with my wife. Someone that you are so comfortable with that you can sit together for an hour and say nothing and still feel totally connected. So, maybe it isn’t loneliness, but missing one specific person. I am searching for answers to this feeling of hopelessness that I seem to go to bed with every night. The sense that the entire world is spinning and I am completely alone and totally detached. The idea of being profoundly disconnected is something that can not be easily defined or articulated, but all humans know the feeling when it creeps in.
I am writing this article for the cathartic benefit and to seek answers from readers. What have you done to battle loneliness in your life? Are these feelings normal? How long will I continue to feel this way? Will it ever end?
As a spiritual person I believe that God is always with me, so I am never really alone. Nonetheless, it is not a spiritual connection that I miss but a human one. Divorce, breakups, the death of a spouse, are all situations where overwhelming loneliness can become debilitating.
There is no hospital for lonely people and there is no medication that can take away the feeling. Quoting the Beatles’ Eleanor Rigby lyric, “All the lonely people where do they all come from? Where do they all belong?”
Today is Easter, and other than my time at church today, I spent the day entirely by myself. While taking my garbage out I could hear laughter and music coming from a neighbors patio, where a large family gathering was taking place. It made me remember those times when such gatherings were a regular part of every holiday for me. On this day I retreat back into my empty house to do laundry and answer e mails.
Loneliness is a feeling like no other and something there should be more discussion about.
